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Melanie Cooke

Burnout or Balance? The Give and Take of Work


This week, 'Therapy Begins with T(ea)' steeps on the give and take of work (is there burnout or balance?) & offers a full body check-in to help you better understand your relationship to it.


work and burnout

Therapy Begins with T(ea) is a weekly newsletter based on the themes that come up in my sessions as a therapist who specializes in conflict & attachment in romantic relationships, shame & imposter syndrome, and our psychological relationships with money. Each week consists of a 'steep' in thought reflection, an accompanying body based check-in, and tea card intentions for the week to come. Its intended use is for educational purposes only and is not a replacement for individualized medical or mental health treatment.




'Steep' in Thought (3-5 min)



Work. Sleep. Repeat.

Work was the word of the week. Megalomaniacal managers, performance reviews, job (in)security, the desire for a fresh start, burnout. I’m all for de-centering work, but considering that ‘what do you do?” is still the first way we get to know a person, I can’t deny that work plays a pretty big role in our lives. You might be reading this as someone who feels like they’re withering and burning out at work; maybe you feel stagnant, lost, or unanchored, not sure if you want to stay, but even more unsure of where you’d go. Maybe, you’re beginning a new chapter or you’ve found your calling and you feel super fulfilled. However you may feel about work, ask yourself: what does it give you? And what does it take?




Give and TAke

Work can offer financial security, purpose, friendship, networking and community, a distraction from grief, prestige. It also has the power to take our time, our autonomy, our creativity, and our peace. It can stroke our egos or make us question our self worth (or both). Once we get through the above generalities, we all have our own way of answering these questions. Our ‘gives’ & ‘takes’ are equal parts personal and clarifying. This week’s full body check-in can help you better understand your relationship to work.





Full Body Check-In (2-4 min)




Take a few moments to let your body sink into your breath. On your inhale, let your belly and then your chest fill with air. On that exhale, feel your torso soften and come back towards center. And then repeat. Breathing in and breathing out. Today’s grounding technique is self contact. So as you breathe in, place your hand on your body. Maybe it’s palm over heart. Maybe you touch your shoulders or your knees. Or cradle your forehead with your hand. And then just notice how it feels. How your body reacts to the warmth and firmness of your palm. This is the time to be curious. Do you keep your hand still or does movement feel more comforting? What does it feel like to be tender towards yourself like this?


Maybe you stay with self contact today and that’s the full body check-in you need. Or, keep reading if you’re curious about your gives and takes with work.


What is the first thing that comes to mind when you think of your work? Is it a word, an image, a memory? Bring your body into your awareness. When you think of work, what do you notice, what do you feel in your body?


Keep breathing.


Play through a typical day or week of work, like you’re flipping through a scrapbook. Are there positive moments? Snapshots of you figuring out a challenging problem, laughing with a work buddy, feeling affirmed, proud, or grateful for an acknowledgement of your contribution to your job?


Are there negative moments? Of stress, frustration, uncertainty? Of feeling misrespresented in a review, of late nights or FOMO, of having to choose work over something else?


How do you feel about yourself at work? Do you feel confident and capable? Lost or thwarted? Check in with your body. Is there any tightness or tension? What sensations do you feel and where do you feel them?


When the work day ends, how is your transition to non-work mode? Are you able to feel the relief of rest or are you wired? Can you engage in other things and other people?


What does your work give you? What does it take? The answers to each of these questions can be positive, negative, or neutral. The importance is the weight of the ‘give’ versus the ‘take’ -- is there balance? Is it skewed in a way that works for you? Knowing what work gives you and what it takes can offer us concrete insight into what adjustments with work we might need to make for our wellbeing.




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